As a little girl, I often found myself in trouble or facing conflicts because of what I said or how I expressed myself. I usually concluded that people didn’t like me, but I was mistaken.
In reality, it wasn't that people didn't like me; they simply didn't appreciate how I communicated. I often spoke at them or down to them, which became a pattern that followed me into adulthood, nearly costing me relationships and opportunities. At the time, I didn't know a better way to express myself.
As I learned more about etiquette and scaled my soft skills, I discovered that our communication styles are often influenced by the examples we observe in our social environments. Here are some common communication models:
- Speaking at others (one-way communication)
- Speaking down to others (one-way communication that is not uplifting)
- Speaking about others (either positively or negatively)
- Speaking with others (two-way communication that adds value)
If, like me, you desire to scale your career or business, the ultimate goal is to achieve point number four. Let’s take a moment to assess ourselves and focus on the first two.